My Turquoise

After the inevitable abundance of life experiences that we all undertake in this life, the necessarily consequential decisions we take return to us. Some will visit us in the form of helping hands and "moments of grace," whereas some will often feel more heavy and burdensome with their karmic nature. Even with people too, it's fascinating how the crossing of people in our paths feels predestined at times and deeply ironic.

Many people have yet to make some concise or ostensibly clear interpretation on the "instrinity" of this messagery. That is, the methodology (if we could even possibly comprehend this) or dimensionality of life's interesting reaction to us, let alone ours too:

how would you even begin to see obscurity, if by definition it’s not something that can be perceived, to retrieve equally something from memory that has not been freed, as at least in my condition it’s not something to be. Was when released it seems this way, as I conceive each day and thought, I feel brought hundreds of these inexplicable moments, as potent as summer breeze, almost the individual particles so real they seem. But as any other concept, we tend to project this residual sense of security, as in our intense surety leaks from us with some ostensible maturity. We don’t want to feel wrong, we don’t want to feel confused, we don’t want to feel lost, but at what cost does not noticing these malpigmia bring us? And what happens if we are the very thing itself that initiated this cycle of philosophical “calculus.”

So I presume then, you wonder why many of these paths have felt familiar and connected, as if some stories were being told right in front you. But maybe they were...and these different moments then would add up to the various chapters your life could hold. You would then have lived many lives, played many characters by the denouement.

Maybe they might represent reflections of those that came before you, passing through adjacent experiences in previous timelines, sending those projections to you now. As if water had some memory. That each move was one that was encouraged and nudged along from something before, something of a color:

I turned my head and all I saw was Turquoise, after years of rain; flaneur's remorse, pent up pain, pioneers resource, all this “gain,” some entrepreneurial/electrical invoice. Maybe it’s confusing but what I’m trying to say is that it was a surprise to see this color, reminding me of other things more positive in their entirety, bringing outrageous amounts of love, inspiring me to begin to trust, but wildly forcing my mind to unplug (as I'm kinda an overthinker), childishly I begin to cry like a baby. For maybe it’s luck, coincidence, (this one makes me chuckle but) “omnipotent” forces from above/downunder, I’m beginning to think that something must be responsible however for repurposing these decisions that I feel I’ve blundered. I still wonder what will happen of course, but I’m learning to lean ever so slightly out of that heavy remorse, and embrace something a bit lighter, I think they called it “Turquoise”

So then, what is my turquoise you ask?

....hmm...